My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
there's too much blood in my alcohol system.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
don't rush me. i get paid by the hour.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep
According to recent study someone is run over by a car every 5 minutes in the city. You'd think the guy would have enough sense to get out of the street
